The other day I was having dinner with some friends and one of them brought up this concept of main characters vs side characters in life.
Basically, we all think we are the main characters in our lives and that everyone else is a side character. The things that we do are the most important things.
Everyone else around us either helps or hinders us from achieving our goals.
Therefore, we want to surround ourselves with people that empower us, and detach ourselves from anyone who brings us down.
It's easy to forget that everyone else also has this same mindset and is focused on themselves.
This relates to another phenomenon, The Spotlight Effect.
This is where you walk around feeling like there's a light shining upon you from the heavens that's revealing every detail of your being at all times. You feel that you're always being watched, so if you ever do something embarrassing in public then you'll be so ashamed because everyone will have seen it.
So you try your hardest to not stick out, to fit in with the crowd.
But, in my opinion, this is a hugely maladaptive response. Loss of individuality and conformity out of fear are great tragedies.
You've got to realise... everyone is focused on themselves and their own lives.
Nobody gives a toss about you and what you do.
They just see you as one of many side characters.
Think about this, how often, when you played Pokemon Leaf Green, did you ever think about what Professor Oak did when you weren't around?
Was he off travelling the world, trying to discover new Pokemon?
Was he spoiling that brat of a grandson, Gary?
Or, was he walking in circles in his tiny lab?
Truthfully, who cares?
He was just a side character in the game and worrying about what he was doing wasn't helping you achieve the objective of the game, which was to beat the Elite Four and assemble the strongest Pokemon team possible!
Just like that, there's no point worrying about other people around you are doing or thinking. It ultimately won't help you reach contentment.
Resource #1 - YouTube Video
If you saw last week's issue, you'd know that I'm trying to focus on improving my health and my posture is one facet of health. I've developed nerd neck from hunching over a computer for large periods of time over the past few years and I've decided I need to do something about it.
Below are the posture exercises that I'm trying to do twice per week.
Resource #2 - Tweet
The difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset.
If you don't know what I'm referring to, check out this YouTube video.